This blog post is intertwined with large twin flame research and my personal experience mixed into one. Authors cited in this post are linked at the end.
I’ve fallen in love with my Twin flame and I will tell you that it is hard being so passionately in love with someone who acts as a mirror. This blog post is actually a little hard for me to write, because the wounds are still in the process of healing. Its been almost two years since my twin flame and I broke up and we moved out of our little honeymoon apartment, in that we fought like cats and dogs in… and also loved so passionately, tears could come just thinking about it.
A Twin Flame reunion usually starts with a strange feeling — it seems that we already know this person. Love develops quickly, and in a deep way. For me, we both remember the exact day that we met. I was sitting outside of the restaurant that he worked at, he was on the phone, across the entire outside seating and I was eating with my girlfriends. We locked eye contact and I felt the most weird sensation… I felt as though I knew this soul. As though it was love at first sight, but not on a physical attraction level, but a level of strange familiarity. I ended up finding him on instagram from the restaurant that he worked at, and followed him. An hour later he DM’ed me asking me on a date. It took our schedules a few days but we ended up hanging out, and that night we never left each others side. We moved into together. And the passionate roller coaster journey of love, pain, healing, rejection, awakening….began. As young adults madly in love and with immature tendencies, everyone who loved us, friends and family, where along for the ride. And also had their own opinions on the relationship in itself.
“A twin flame connection feels magical because it works on many dimensions — intellectual, sexual and spiritual. Something in their personal stories feels surprisingly familiar. We share similar visions and expectations about life, and not the most typical or easiest ones.
However, most of the time the fairy tale transforms quickly into an intense journey of growth for both individuals, because the relationship makes them face themselves and transform. This can be intensely painful.
There tends to be a lot of confusion about what a “twin flame” relationship really is. Unlike “soul mates,” which are our perfect matches (or our spiritual family) twin flames are our perfect mirrors. Relationships with twin flames tend to be on-again-off-again, intensely passionate, and sometimes intensely painful. Twin flames help us awaken like nobody else, and they ultimately serve to show us who we really are.
Twin Flame relationships happen when both individuals have reached a significant state of spiritual evolution. Or need to grow into one. Twins come together to bring about in their reflection — the other Twin — the growth that is needed so that both could reach their highest potential. That’s why it hurts: growth happens through healing, and healing allows the dark to surface.
For me honestly, the pain of being separated from my twin flame, is what brought out the passion and creativity and success of Chasin’ Unicorns mystical and spiritual side that many of our customers and followers relate to. The quotes and love and connection and posts all stemmed from my growth of having to take care of myself with out my twin. And force myself to heal. To spiritually evolve. Chasin’ Unicorns started during my break up and forced me to be alone and try my hardest to love every inch of myself without depending on the love from anyone else.
Partners will perhaps meet over and over again, but one of them will push the other away because their soul knows that their time hasn’t come yet. This has been the hardest for me personally. Knowing that we both aren’t ready and every time we seem to reach that point of running into the other, the triggers and old wounds re-surface. But the more practice and work I do on my own, it doesn’t hurt as long. It still hurts, but I am able to control it. It has taken me years to get to this point. In the past I would have had extreme melt downs, breaks downs, self sabotages episodes where heavy drinking and drugs were involved. There was times when I would be by myself just sobbing, screaming on the top of my lungs, being forced to push forward and be on my own. Heal on my own.
We meet our Twin in the physical world when life wants us to:
* Learn to love unconditionally, which means finding happiness in a relationship based on friendship, freedom of becoming what both individuals are without restriction, understanding and forgiveness, joy no matter where and how far the Twin is. When I first dated my twin, I felt as though many things were based on “conditions.” He made me feel as though love was given through attention, nurturing and doing things here and there like laundry and meal prep and constant attention. This confused me to the core and made me feel very unworthy during the times I was unable to do these task. Or just didn’t want to in general. I also as a female have very masculine energy, and he as a male had very feminine energy, which confused us both as well.
In other words, Sacred unions happen between individuals who are independent and strong enough to stand on their own two feet, or between those who are learning to be so.
Twins meet because they’re ready to love someone from a place of self-love, without being needy for their partner — which could be the case because of a lack of self-worth, urge to be cared for and rescued, or any kind of codependency pattern.
For me, this hits home really hard. I am a strong, confident, independent, female but when I get around my twin flame, I find myself becoming co-dependent, and needy and like a small child wanting love and attention from the only thing that I felt could make me happy. And he was the same. Which made me feel very pressured and suffocated… we were young and in love and needy and suffocating the other… and when jealousy and insecurities came into play, it was like reliving a slow and painful death over every stupid argument. Mirroring the other… and then dedicating ourselves to the other in full love and passion and dedication just to replay the whole thing over again in a day or two.
Myths about Twin Flame Relationships:
MYTH – YOUR TWIN FLAME COMPLETES YOU.
REALITY – YOUR TWIN FLAME HELPS YOU TO BECOME MORE COMPLETE. THEY DO NOT COMPLETE YOU.
It sounds so beautiful to “be completed” by another person, and on one level this is true of twin flames. Twin flames complete us in the sense that they serve as the catalysts to our wholeness. In other words, our twin flames reveal to us what areas we are lacking (in my case it was empathy, humility and compassion). However, our twin flames in and of themselves do not complete us. Why? Because beneath all the layers of beliefs, wounds, conditionings, and ego-masks lies pure, infinite, perfection. How can pure, infinite, perfection ever be incomplete? It only thinks it is incomplete. And that is the role of our twin flames; to remind us of the truth of who we are.
MYTH – YOUR TWIN FLAME WILL COME AT THE RIGHT TIME AND BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
REALITY – YOUR TWIN FLAME MIGHT APPEAR AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME.
Or … they might appear at the best possible time. Life isn’t always predictable. For instance, you might meet your twin flame, but discover that they are already married. Or you might connect with your twin flame at a bad time (e.g. during or after a crisis). There is no set rule.
MYTH – TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALWAYS HAPPY, SMILEY, AND PERFECT.
REALITY – TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE TUMULTUOUS, OVERWHELMING, AND INTENSE.
Is the perfect relationship to you defined by complete harmony? Is the prefect relationship to you characterized by complete understanding, acceptance and humility? While these qualities do define twin flame relationships after many years of inner work, they don’t always. In fact, at the beginning, twin flame relationships can be riddled with the most intense arguments and clashes conceivable. Many people refer to this as “karmic cleansing” where all our faults, flaws, and deepest core wounds are brought to the light to be dealt with and healed. Of course, this can be extremely unsettling, particularly when two big egos are involved in maintaining their illusion of greatness.
MYTH – YOU’LL IMMEDIATELY BE READY TO INVITE YOUR TWIN FLAME INTO YOUR LIFE.
REALITY – YOU MIGHT NOT BE READY TO OPEN UP TO YOUR TWIN FLAME.
As I mentioned before, our twin flames don’t always arise at the right time and place in our lives. In many cases, one may be still in the depths of religious conditioning and dogma and even pressure from family. It can take months or years to realize the true, deep significance of the connection. In your own case it might take years to truly fathom the significance of your twin flame who may or may not play an active role in your life, and vice versa. Due to the intensity of twin flame relationships, it is common for them to disintegrate very quickly, and later re-emerge later in life when both partners are emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready.
The Universe make them cross paths because they’re meant to work hand in hand on a mission, and start a project, adventure or business destined to improve the world. The task requires that their respective forces and abilities come together in the physical world. Twins never come together to live confined, but because they share a destiny of light which will bring more peace, ethics or joy around them.
But what about the pain that the Twins cause to one another ?
The Twins first meet when they are both ready to step into new stages of growth; the beginning of the romance corresponds to the start of a shared journey of deeper awakening.
A series of short reunions and separations happen afterwards.
Both Twins finally reunite and find happiness as a couple when the wounds that have come to the surface have been healed and both partners know themselves enough to undertake the mission that they were meant to in this life.
If both partners do their own introspection and healing work (childhood patterns or relating in relationships, etc.) and progressively become their higher expression, this state will most likely be reached. Although it is still common that many twin flames don’t end up being together…..Because they are your road to enlightenment. What your Twin triggers in you, nobody else can. Even if the Twin brings to the surface our deepest fears and pains, it never happens for no reason, but because there is more to see and heal within.
Such souls must find their power before they truly reunite with their Twin, so that the pair reaches its highest potential.
When going through a difficult time on the Sacred union’s journey, never forget that every pain is temporary, and:
* See how blessed you are that such a reflection of yourself has entered your life and made you become who you are. Who would you be without him/her? In which situations would you still be stuck?
* Remember that even if the pain was unbearable on some days, your Twin may have been through a lot as well as the relationship was unfolding. You have both been through similar processes of seeing something that you were avoiding, so forgive him/her, understand that everyone has done their best, and that you’ve most likely shared everything, even the intensity of the pain.
* If you are in the period of the separation, understand that nothing in life is permanent, and that’s you’re not being punished — the stars have decided that it wasn’t time yet. Live your life, meet someone else if you do, or stay single if you want. Simply focus on following your bliss, because what you both experience as a couple is nothing but the reflection of the state of growth reached by both individuals separately.
* Understand that time isn’t truly important in such relationships. Significant soul transformations are unlikely to be completed in two months. Always keep in mind that everything has happened as it should. When it hurts, it’s time for growth. When it’s nothing, it’s time to come back within and heal more of yourself, to be together again when you’re ready for a new cycle of lessons.
When it comes to Sacred unions, there is no need to think, fight, seek, blame, forget, scream or cry; things simply happen when their time has come.”